[미드로 영어공부][Shadowing] 굿 플레이스 The Good Place S01-E01 시즌1 에피1 English subtitle 쉐도잉 미미킹 영어자막 영어회화

💚 화면 한쪽에 영상, 한 쪽에 이 포스트
window 키 + 좌우 방향키

💚  굵은 글씨 : 익힐 구문
밑 줄 : 잘 안들리는 부분
* : 굵은 글씨 부연 설명, 사전 뜻
# :  씬 전환, 상황 전환

 

#

Eleanor? Come on in.

Hi, Eleanor. I'm Michael.
How are you today?

I'm great. Thanks for asking.
Oh, one question.
Where am I? Who are you?
And what's going on?

Right. So...
you, Eleanor Shellstrop, are dead.
Your life on Earth has ended
and you are now in the next phase
of your existence in the universe.

Cool. Cool.
I have some questions.

Thought you might.

- How did I die? I... I don't remember.

- Yes, um...
in cases of traumatic
or embarrassing deaths
we erase the memory,
to allow for a peaceful transition.
Are you sure you want to hear?
All right, so you were
in a grocery store parking lot.
You dropped a bottle
of something called
"Lonely Gal Margarita Mix for One"
and when you bent down to pick it up,
a long column of shopping carts
that were being returned
to the shopping cart collection area
rolled out of control
and plowed right into you.

"Oof."
That's how I died.

No, sorry, there's more.
Well, you were able to grab onto the front
of the column of shopping carts
but it swept you right out into the street,
where you were struck and killed
by a mobile billboard truck
advertising an erectile dysfunction pill *발기부전
called "Engorge-ulate."
Funnily enough, the first "EMT" *뜻밖이겠지만
to arrive was an ex-boyfriend of yours.

- Okay. That's... I get it. Thank you.

- Okay, sorry.

Um, so who was right?
I mean about all of this?

Well, let's see.
Hindus are a little bit right,
Muslims a little bit
Jews, Christians, Buddhists -
every religion guessed about five percent.
Except for Doug Forcett.

Who... who is Doug Forcett?

Well, Doug was a stoner kid
who lived in Calgary during the 1970s.
One night he got really high on mushrooms,
and his best friend Randy said
"Hey, what do you think happens
after we die?"
And Doug just launched
into this long monologue
where he got
like ninety-two percent correct.
I mean
we couldn't believe
what we were hearing.
That's him, actually,
right up there.
He's pretty famous around here.
I'm very lucky to have that.

So, maybe my biggest question.
Am I... I mean is this...
or... you know?

Well, it's not the "heaven" or "hell" idea
that you were raised on.
But generally speaking
in the afterlife, there's a Good Place,
and there's a Bad Place.
You're in the Good Place.
- You're okay, Eleanor.
You're in the Good Place.

Well, that's good.

Sure is. Ha!
Okay. Let's take a walk, shall we?

Oh, did I have a purse? *美 (=handbag)
No, I'm dead. Right. Okay.

# The Good Place

 

#
So this is how it works.
The Good Place is divided
into distinct "Neighborhoods."
Each one contains exactly
three hundred and twenty-two people
who have been perfectly selected to blend
together into a blissful harmonic balance. * 더없이 행복한

Do all the neighborhoods look like this?

No - every neighborhood is unique.
Some have warm weather, some cold,
some are cities, some farmland.
But in each one
every blade of grass, every ladybug * (한 가닥의) 풀잎
every detail has been precisely designed
and calibrated for its residents.

There's a lot of frozen yoghurt places.

Yeah. That's the one thing we put
in all the neighborhoods.
People love frozen yoghurt.
I don't know what to tell you.
You're going to have
a million more questions, I know.
For right now,
you better grab a seat.
Movie's about to begin.

#
<i>Hello, everyone, and welcome
to your first day in the afterlife!</i>
<i>You were all simply-put: good people.</i> *간단히 말해서
<i>But how do we know
that you were good?</i>
<i>How are we sure?</i>
<i>During your time on Earth,
every one of your actions</i>
<i>- had a positive...</i>

<i>- or a negative value...</i>
<i>depending on how much good or bad</i>
<i>that action put into the universe.</i>
<i>Every sandwich you ate,
every time you bought a magazine</i>
<i>every single thing you did
had an effect that rippled out over time</i> * 파문처럼 번지다
<i>and ultimately created
some amount of good or bad.</i>
<i>You know how some people
pull into the breakdown lane</i> *(고속도로 가의) 갓길 =hard shoulder
<i>when there's traffic,
and they think to themselves</i>
<i>"Ah, who cares? No one's watching."</i>
<i>We were watching. Surprise.</i>

Anyway, when your time on Earth has ended
we calculate the total value of your life
using our perfectly accurate
measuring system.
Only the people
with the very highest scores -
the true cream of the crop - *제일 좋은 것, 알짜(인 사람)
get to come here, to The Good Place!
What happens to everyone else,
you ask?
Don't worry about it.
The point is:
you are here because you lived
one of the very best lives
that could be lived.
And you won't be alone!
Your true soulmate is here too!

<i>- That's right</i> - <i>soul mates are real.</i>
One of the other people in your neighborhood
is your actual soulmate
<i>and you will spend eternity together!</i>
<i>So welcome to eternal happiness.</i>
<i>Welcome to The Good Place.</i>
Sponsored by otters holding hands
while they sleep.

ALL: Aw!

<i>- You know the way you feel</i>
<i>when you see
a picture of two otters holding hands?</i>
<i>That's how you're going to feel every day.</i>

 

#
So, who is in The Bad Place
that would shock me?

Ah...
well, Mozart, Picasso, Elvis,
basically, every artist, ever.
Uh... every US President
except Lincoln.

That sounds about right.
What about Florence Nightingale?

That was close but no,
she didn't make it.

Wow, all those amazing people
down there.
It just seems so hard to believe.

Again, it's an incredibly selective system.
Most people don't make it here.
But you: a lawyer,
who got innocent people off death row. * (교도소의) 사형수 수감 건물
You're special, Eleanor.
And by the way...
- welcome to your new home.

Ah! It's perfect, isn't it?
You see, in The Good Place
every person gets to live
in a home that perfectly matches
his or her true essence.

Cool.
So, I guess that's why my house,
for example, is this adorable little cottage
whereas other people
might have homes that are bigger
like that one.

Exactly.
Ah, I'm so happy you get it.

 

#
As you can see, the interior
has been decorated just as you like it
in the "Icelandic primitive" style.
Oh, oh! And, uh... of course,
you love clowns, so...

I do love clowns.

Now, let me show you the, uh...
the video system here.
You can review everything that happened
in your life from your point of view.
- There we go.
This is your Human Rights mission
to Ukraine.
I mean, you got a ton of points for that one.
It really put you over the top.

Oh.
Chidi! Come on in.

Eleanor? I'm Chidi Anagonye.
And you are my soulmate.

Cool. Bring it in, man. * 기운내다, 힘내다 ; 등장/출연하다, 참여하다, 등장/출연시키다, 참여시키다

Now, excuse me.
I have other people to attend to.

#
So, where are you from, Chidi?

Well, I was born in Nigeria,
raised in Senegal.
But my work took me
all over the place -
Australia, Hong Kong, Paris...
What about you?

I was born in Phoenix, Arizona.
Then I went to school in Tempe, Arizona.
And then I moved back to Phoenix, Arizona.
Your English is amazing.

Oh!
I'm actually speaking French.
This place just translates whatever you say
into a language
the other person can understand.
- So, it's incredible!

- Whoa.

- And now I want to say this...

- Okay.

Eleanor.
I have spent my entire life in pursuit
of fundamental truths about the universe
and now we can actually learn about them,
together, as soul mates.
It's overwhelming!

Chidi? You'll stand by my side
no matter what, right?

Of course, I will.

Promise me. Say "I promise
I will never betray you for any reason."

Eleanor, I swear that I will never say
or do anything to cause you any harm.

Good.
Because those aren't my memories.
I wasn't a lawyer.
I never went to the Ukraine.
I hate clowns.
There's been a big mistake.
I'm not supposed to be here.

Wait, what?

#
Are you sure this isn't you?

Yeah, man, I'm pretty sure
I wasn't a death row lawyer
who collected clown paintings
and rescued orphans.
They got my name right,
but nothing else.
I mean somebody royally forked up. *royally 아주 훌륭하게

*fork up (돈·물건 따위를 마지못해) 내다, 넘겨주다, 지불하다((to, for, on))

 

Somebody forked up.
Why can't I say fork?

If you're trying to curse,
you can't here.
I guess a lot of people
in this neighborhood don't like it
- so it's prohibited.

- That's "bullshirt."

So, uh... if you're not this person
then who are you?
What did you do for a living?

I was in sales.

 

#
So, we sell two products here.
"NasaPro," and "NasaPro Silver,"
we aim this at seniors.
Now, you can't legally call it "medicine,"
because it doesn't technically "work"
and it is, technically, chalk.
- So, what you're gonna want to do...

- You need me to lie to old people
and scare them into buying fake medicine.
I get it, man.
Which one's my desk?

 

#
So your job was to defraud the elderly.
Sorry - the sick and elderly.

But I was very good at it.
I was the top salesperson
five years running.

Okay, but that's worse.
I mean you... you do get
how that's worse
- right?

 

- Mmm.

#
You know, maybe it's a test.
Maybe, if you go to Michael
then you tell him the truth
you'll pass the test,
and you'll get to stay.

No way,
I can't risk going to The Bad Place.

Okay, well, maybe it's not actually
like all that bad.
Let's just get some information first.
We'll ask Janet. Hey, Janet?

- Hi, there.

- Argh!

- How can I help you?

- What the fork?
- Who are you?

- I'm Janet.
I'm the informational assistant here
in The Good Place.

She's like this walking database.
You can ask her about the creation
of the universe, or history, or...

Oh, there was a guy who lived in Avondale,
Arizona, around 2002.
His name was Kevin Paltonic.
- Is he gay?

- No.

Really?
Huh. I guess he just didn't want
to have sex with me.

- That's correct.

- Well, that's fine.
- I wasn't that into him anyway.

- Yes, you were.

Okay, Janet. I have a question.

- Okay.

- What is The Bad Place like?

Oh, sorry.
That is the one topic
I'm not allowed to tell you about.
I can only play you a brief audio clip
of what is happening there right now.

Okay.

- MAN: Help me! Help me!
WOMAN: The bear has two mouths!

Well, it doesn't sound awesome.

 

#
Does everyone have
a huge house except me?
All right, we need a plan.
I say we just lie low *남 눈에 띄지[남의 시선을 끌지] 않도록 하다
and hope that they don't notice me.

I'm sorry. I don't think I can help you.
I just don't like being dishonest
and I can't advise you
to be dishonest either.

Come on!
I'm just asking you to fudge a little bit. *얼버무리다
You must have told
a few white lies in your life.
I mean what was your job?

I was a professor of Ethics
and Moral Philosophy.

Mother forker!

- I'm getting a stomach ache.

I'm in a perfect Utopia
and I have a stomach ache.
This is awful. I, uh...
I think I have to tell Michael about this.

Tell Michael about what?

Michael! Hi!
What have you been up to?

Eleanor, Chidi, I would like you
to meet Tahani and Jianyu.
They are soul mates
and your next door neighbors.

Hello. Can I just say, I love your house.
It's just so tiny and cute.
It's like a little child's plaything!

Like for a family of mice,
or for a very fancy little dog!
I love it.
It's just so sweet and teensy. *(=TINY)
Just like you.
- Boop!

- Ooh!

- Oh!

- You "booped" me.

- I did.

- That's fun.

Tahani and Jianyu are having
a little "welcome party" tonight
and they've invited
the entire neighborhood.

I simply adore entertaining.
Don't I just adore it, Jianyu?
Oh, um... yes.
By the way, Jianyu, here,
is a Buddhist monk, you see
and he obeys
a strict code of silence.
So when you see him smiling
and nodding
that's actually his way of jumping up
and down with glee! *신이 남, (남이 잘못되는 것에 대한) 고소한 기분 (=delight)
Isn't that right, darling?

So, we'll see you tonight.

- Great.

- Yes.

#
No way.
My entire house could fit in this room.

Okay, uh... help me out here.
Tell me one good thing
that you did on Earth.
Just one truly kind and decent act
so that I can feel better
about helping you out.
Let's forget about good.

Um... just tell me
something neutral about yourself.
Like, tell me about the day
before you died.
What do you remember?

 

#
Hi, there.
Do you have a second
to talk about the environment?

Do you have a second
to eat my farts?

- You missed.

- Pfft! Pick it up
if you're so horny
for the environment.

#
I don't remember anything specific.

- Oh.

- Look
I might not have been a saint,
but it's not like I killed anybody.
I wasn't an arsonist.
I never found a wallet outside of an IHOP
and thought about returning it
but saw the owner lived out of state
so just took the cash and dropped
the wallet back on the ground.

Okay, that's really specific
and that makes me think
that you definitely did do that.

All I'm saying is,
these people might be "good"
but are they really
that much better than me?

 

#
Well, I spent half my life in North Korea
fighting for women's rights
and the other half in Saudi Arabia
fighting for gay rights.

So we said, "If the UN won't remove
those landmines, we will."
And we dug up
over a thousand unexploded landmines
from the area surrounding
the orphanage.

Well, then he said
"You can't give me both your kidneys,
you'll die."

- What?

- I said, "But you will live"
and I know we just met
on this bus ten minutes ago
- "but you seem nice."

Forget it. Heading to the bar.

 

#
Thank you. Thank you.
You all know that I am the architect
of this neighborhood
but what you don't know is...
golly, I'm not supposed *야, 와(놀람을 나타냄)
to tell you this but, um...
oh, what the heck?
This is actually the very first neighborhood
that I have ever designed.
I have been an apprentice *수습생, 도제
for over two hundred years
and my boss has finally given me
my first solo project!

ALL: Aw.

Yes!

Gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah!
Hold on there, ace.
Let me get more of them "shrampies."

Easy.

What?
They're for everybody, right?

Yes. Exactly.

and you deserve a perfect world.
Because every single one of you
is a good person.
That's it for me.
Back to you, Tahani.

- Bravo, Michael!

- Thank you.

Bravo!
Um, and I would just like
to quickly say
if any of you would like
to play tennis tonight
we have thirty-six
regulation grass tennis courts.
Such fun! Cheers!

Tahani - what a condescending bench.

- Okay, okay.

- Am I right?
Why does she still have
that British accent? Right?
No one else here has an accent.
She's choosing to have that accent.

- Shh, shh, shh, shh.

"Ooh, hello!"
I am just a big beautiful
utterly perfect cartoon giraffe!"

- Oh, okay, okay.

I think it's time to go home.

Wait, wait, wait,
I just have to go upstairs real quick
and steal a bunch of gold stuff.

Okay, don't do that.
Don't do... no!
Eleanor. Eleanor. Eleanor.

 

#
Hello, creepy house that I hate!
Hello, one million clowns!
Why aren't there stairs here?
Ugh! What kind of weirdo house is this?
Ooh.

Did you fill your bra with shrimp?

No.
Yes.
Whatever, it's freakin' heaven,
I'm sure they have plenty of shellfish.
That Tahani is a real butthead, huh? *바보 같은 녀석
Hey!
At least I can still say "butthead."
Ugh, she is a butthead.

Found some pajamas.

Chidi? Chidi? Chidi?
I'm sorry
that you had to deal with this.

- It's okay.

- It's not, though.
Do you think
anybody cared that I died?
Maybe someone did.
I don't know. I was an only child.
My parents were divorced
when I was a kid.
They were both crummy people *형편없는
so they're probably...
in The Bad Place.
Maybe they're being used
to torture each other.
- It would work.

I bet way more people cared
that you died.
Because you're a nice person.
You're a nice person.
Chidi Anaconda.

- Anagonye.

- "Aginoncamunga."

Anagonye.

- "Ag..." - say it again.

- Anagonye.

- No, say what you said before.

I did. It's Anagonye.

- You just changed it.

- I didn't change it.
- It's my name.

- "Aragugronde," Ariana Grande!
That's a person.
I did it!
Good night.

Good night.

Well, that's terrifying.

#

That can't be good.

 

Oh, fork.

- Michael?

- Hmm?

Is that giant, terrifying ladybug
supposed to be there?

Ah! Well, great question, Tahani.
No. No, it's not.
I have no idea why any of this
is happening or how to control it.

Should we run away then?

Yes!

<i>♪ It was lethal. ♪</i>

- Right-o!

<i>- ♪ It was fatal. ♪</i>
<i>♪ In my dreams it felt so right. ♪</i>

<i>♪ But I woke up every time. ♪</i>
<i>♪ Oh, baby! ♪</i>

<i>♪ This is the part when
I say I don't want ya. ♪</i>
<i>♪ I'm stronger than I've been before. ♪</i>

Chidi! Chidi!
What's going on?
Why are there giant animals everywhere?
Do you hear Ariana Grande playing?
Why is everyone
wearing blue and yellow?

You're not.
You're...
you're the only one who's not.
Eleanor, this is all happening
because of you.

Ah, fork me!

 

#
Okay, okay, we don't know
this is because of me.

Eleanor.
This place is a perfectly made Swiss watch,
and you are a wrench in the gears.
Actually, you're a hammer,
just smashing the gears into dust.

Oh, hang on.
Not everybody here is perfect, okay?
Tahani is totally condescending
and there are a couple of, you know...
- "chunksters." * 뚱땡이

- Oh, come on!

No judgment, I'm just saying
I'm not the only one with flaws
so how can we be sure
this is my fault?

You hogged all the shrimp, *독차지하다
and now there are shrimp flying around.
You called Tahani a giraffe,
and now there are giraffes everywhere.

Okay, fine. Turns out there are
many ways to know that it was me.

Let's just face it, Eleanor.
You don't belong here.

Well, then this system sucks.
What, one in a million
gets to live in paradise
and everyone else is tortured for eternity?
Come on!
I mean I wasn't freakin' Gandhi,
but I was okay.
I was a medium person.
I should get to spend eternity
in a medium place, like Cincinnati.
Everyone who wasn't perfect,
but wasn't terrible
should get to spend eternity in Cincinnati.

Look, apparently it doesn't work that way.
I'm sorry, Eleanor,
but there's nothing anyone can do.

Unless there is something we can do.
Unless you could teach me.

Teach you what?

How to be good!
That was your job, right?
A professor of Ethics?
No one knew I was a problem
when I arrived.
Things only started getting crazy
after I was an ash-hole
to everyone at the party.
Ugh!
You know I'm trying to say "ash-hole,"
and not "ash-hole," right?

- I got that, yes.

- Okay.
Give me a chance.
Let me earn my place here.
Let me be your ethical guinea pig!

Hey, guys!
Uh... Emergency
neighborhood meeting! Now!

We'll be right there, Michael.
If I walk out of here in these clothes,
I'm toast. *be toast 죽기[끝장나기] 십상이다
My soul is in your hands, soulmate.

What's it gonna be?

Oh! Stomach ache.

 

# Chapter 2

 

#

I, uh... I don't know what to do here.
This is a mess - morally speaking.
This is a putrid, *아주 불쾌한, 구역질 날 정도인

disgusting bowl of ethical soup.

Okay, well, how about we just chill
and go to the town meeting
and talk it out after.

Wha-

- Great! Hey
how do I make
that helper woman show up?
Hello... front desk lady...
- magical slave robot?

- Excuse me, Janet?

- Hi, there.

Still not used to it.
Um, Janet, I need...
quick question - can anyone
access our search history
or is this an incognito browsing situation *자기 신분을 숨기고, 가명[익명]으로
like when you're stalking
a hot mailman from your work computer?

It is one hundred percent confidential.
No one can access what you ask me,
including Michael.
Now, what kind of pornography
would you like to see?

No, no, no, no, not porn...
I, um, I need clothes - like yours
and Chidi's with the stripes.

- There you go.

#

Everybody,
everybody, gather round, please.
Thank you. Thank you.
Obviously, there's something
very wrong with this neighborhood.
We don't know what it is,
how long it will last, or what caused it.
What do we know, Janet?

We know where it happened - here.

Yes, thank you, Janet.
The chaos happened here.
See, that's the trouble
with these perfect systems -
one little flaw can lead to...
well, it can lead to Gary over there.
- Hey, Gary.

Hang in there, buddy.
My armpits are leaking.
- What is that called again?

- Sweat.

Right, right, still not used to being
in a human body.
And what do you do with sweat?
Do... do you lick it away?
Is that right?

- Nope, you dab it with a cloth. *(가볍게) 꼭꼭 누르기[만지기]

- Oh, right.
And then you lick the cloth?
That seems weirder.

Michael, look.

Okay, that's a good sign.
It... it... it could mean
that this is almost over.

Oh, such relief.
That was my first time as a fashion "don't"
and I did not care for it.

#
Okay, 
I think it's time to make me good, partner.
How do we do it?
Is there a pill I can take
or something I could vape? *불연성 담배에서 나오는 연기를 들이마시다
Where did you get a chalkboard?

It's The Good Place, you can get
anything you want at any time.

And you chose a chalkboard?
What are you reading?

<i>The Metaphysics of Morals</i>
by Immanuel Kant.
It's a treatise *논문
on the aesthetic preconditions *전제조건
of the mind's receptivity to duty.
It's a book on how to act good.

Oh, great!
So you've decided to help me?

I don't know.
There's a thousand questions.
Is there a moral imperative to help you?
Do I have a greater obligation
to my community?
Are you taking someone else's spot -
someone who deserves to be here?

Ooh! On that question
I honestly think
I was just put here by mistake
because Michael called me
Eleanor Shellstrop
so he knows I'm me -
he... he's just wrong
about my overall quality level.
Please help me, man.
I swear I am worth it.

Tell me one fact
that you know about me.
We spent the whole day together.
You must remember something.
What country am I from?

Is it racist if I say, "Africa?"

Yes, and Africa is not a country.
I am from Senegal.
Do I have any siblings?
Where did I go to college?

Trick question - you didn't.

I was literally a college professor.
Do you not remember
one single thing about me?

Dude, things have been nuts around here.
I bet you don't know anything about me!

You were born in Phoenix.
You went to school in Tempe.
You're an only child.
Your favourite show is something called,
<i>The Real Housewives of Atlanta.</i>
And your favourite book is
Kendall Jenner's Instagram feed.

How did you know all that?

Because you are constantly
talking about yourself.
You are the most self-obsessed person
I have ever met.

You should see
Kendall Jenner's Instagram feed.

See, this is my fear about you, Eleanor -
you are too selfish to ever be a good person. *ever 영원히

- Well, I think you're wrong.

- What country am I from again?

"Sen... sodyne"

That is a brand of toothpaste.
Look, the only thing
that you are concerned with
is your own happiness.
That's your problem.

 

#
Okay, names in the hat -
time to pick a designated driver.
And the loser is...
Betsy.
Wait, you never get picked
and you're always the one
who draws the name.
- Let me see that.

- There's no need.
Everyone here believes in my integrity,
one hundred percent. Right, guys?

Give it to me.

For the record
I did that out of principle
because it absolutely had your name on it.

If I check the other ones I can figure it out
by process of elimination.

 

#
All right, everyone, let's get started.
Things have settled down.
Whoo!
So, hopefully, we're off and running.
Welcome to orientation, day two.
Now, today we're going to start
with something
that everyone has always wanted to do...

- Flying.

Now that you're dead,
let's live a little, right? *인생을 좀 즐겨

Uh, sorry... uh, Michael, if I might -
I was just thinking... earlier today
in all of the chaos
large swaths of this neighborhood * 넓은 길, 긴 행렬; 띠 모양을 이루는 것[장소](strip, belt)
were destroyed.
We thought perhaps
some of us could... uh...
volunteer to help clean up
the debris, you know
it's quite a fun way to band together *(무엇을 달성하기 위해) 함께 뭉치다[무리를 이루다]
as a community.
Isn't that right, Jianyu?

Oh, uh, yes, sorry,
for those of you don't know -
my soulmate Jianyu here
is a Buddhist monk.
He took a vow of silence
that he's still observing -
even here, in The Good Place.
It's truly inspiring.

Well, Tahani,
it's not really your job to clean up
but I suppose there's no harm
if you really want to.

Oh, well, "Hurrah!"
We need about, uh, twelve volunteers.

- Oh!

- I can't believe all these people
are passing on flying
to pick up garbage all day.
Have fun, nerds.
I'll be soaring through the air
like a forking bird.

- Eleanor and I would love to help.

- Oh, "Hurrah, hurrah!". Yay!

- Dude?

- You want to prove you're not selfish?
Here's the perfect test -
there's something fun that you want to do
and then there's something less fun
that people are doing
for the common good.
Which do you choose?

 

#
Have fun.

Whoo!

Yay! Yeah! All right!

Wee!

Hey, up there - having fun
or does it maybe suck, probably?

I'd say it's like it's like fifty million
simultaneous orgasms, but better.
How's volunteer garbage pickup?

- About the same.

- Great. Wee!

 

#
You know, this really reminds me
of my time in Vietnam
picking up mortar shells
with my Godmother, Diana.
Doesn't really matter
what she's a princess of.
It's not really important.

Tahani, how goes the cleaning?

Oh, swimmingly, Michael.
And I have to say, this neighborhood
that you built is truly a masterpiece
the likes of which I've never seen
and I've been to Johnny Depp's
private bird sanctuary.

Well, thank you.
That's very kind of you to say.
But it's also dead wrong.
This neighborhood is a disaster.
See, I must have made a mistake somewhere
and it led to all this chaos
and now I'm just... I'm just terrified
that it's going to happen again.
I'm trying to put a good face on...
well, this face
that I've constructed for myself
but the truth is, I'm just miserable.
I have to go.
Thank you so much for your service.

Oh, no... powerful people
do not handle failure well.
Michael could be heading
for a total meltdown.
Soulmate, are you thinking
what I'm thinking?
Should we say it at the same time?
All right, one, two, three -
we must help Michael.
Oh, you sly devil
you're going
to keep me on my toes, aren't you?
All right, come on, let's go.

 

#
- Oh, boy!

- Hey, Gunnar. Hey, Antonio.

Hey, Eleanor, isn't this great?

Uh, yeah - when I thought of the afterlife
I totally pictured being an unpaid,
nonflying janitor.

Us, too.

You guys are so fun -
just relentlessly fun.
I keep thinking -
when are they going to stop being fun?
And the answer is, never.
- You're never going to stop.

Well, I have had a pretty full day
of being unselfish.
I've made some new friends,
my area is almost garbage free
so you're going to help me
figure out how to stay, right?

Oh, that is a really tough question.
Most great philosophers would say
helping you is pointless -
that you can't try to be good
especially when your motivations
are so obviously corrupt.

Yeah, but what do
most great philosophers know?

On the other hand,
Aristotle thought that moral virtue
is something
that you could get better at.
He... he compared it
to playing the flute -
the more you practice,
the more you improve.

Aristotle
- that's my boy right there!
He was the best. I mean,
most people agree he was the best one.
So it sounds to me like you are
on board the "help Eleanor train."

Well, I've narrowed it down
to two possibilities - yes and no.

Well, no worries - just hit me up
when you're done
weighing my life in your hands.
I'll just keep doing what I do best -
being super-considerate and selfless.

 

#
Hey, guys.

- Okay, Eleanor, reminder -
we switched to a rotating system
for choosing a designated driver
and it's your turn.

Got it.
Full disclosure - I forgot
we were doing this new system.
I got off work early.
I've been here for about an hour
and I'm already pretty drunk.

- Someone else will do it.

- Good call.
I guess the only place I'll be driving
is through the giant loophole
in the system I accidentally discovered.
Beep, beep!
Whoo!

 

#
Whoo!

I can't believe they managed
to mix one million flavours together
and yet, somehow I can taste
each individual one.
It's remarkable.

I got no flavour.
- It's all I deserve really.

- No.

Look, I... I appreciate
you trying to cheer me up
I really do,
but you don't understand -
this was the very first neighborhood
that I got to design.
It was my chance to prove myself
and now I've blown it.

You know, sometimes a flaw
can make something even more beautiful -
like with Cindy Crawford
and how short she is.

Oh, Tahani, if I made
one tiny mistake in my design
if there's a single glitch
in the system
if even one blade of grass
is angled a fraction of a degree off...

the whole neighborhood is...
compromised.
Whose dog is that?
Guys, whose dog is that?
Whose dog is that!
See, this is one of those glitches
I was talking about.
Nice try, puppy.

Whoo!
That was a close one.

Teacup?
Hey, have you seen my dog?

 

#
Shouldn't these be magical trash bags?

Five more minutes,
flyers, five more minutes.

Oh, man, really?

 

#
Janet, I'm finished with clean up
and I'm ready to fly.
- How do I start?

- Hop on the launch pad
and conjure
an image that brings you pure joy.
Some people think of their wedding
day or favourite vacation spot.

- People puking on roller coasters.
People puking on roller coasters.
It's working!

Ow! What the fork?

Janet, any chance this is
a scheduled trash storm?

 

#
So, here's the situation, Pevita -
I kind of kicked your dog into the sun.
- But, I got her back.

Everything... everything seems fine.

Teacup, thank goodness you're okay.

Everyone, it is merely
a construct of a dog.
It feels no pain or joy or love.

Teacup doesn't love me?

Oh! Oh, no, no, no, no, no,
it definitely feels love.
Do you actually want a dog
that loves you a little bit more?
Because I can kick her
right back into the sun
and get you another one, just like that.

- No!

- Oh, boy, I'm making things worse.

Okay. All right... that's all right,
breathe, breathe... you breathe?

- Mm-hmm.

- If you do, then just breathe
because everything is fine,
Michael, it's fine.

Whoo!

It's raining garbage.
Run!

Whoa, whoa, whoa, I'll run this way.

 

#
Chidi, hey
before you say anything...
that's it.
I just don't want you to say anything.

- What did you do?

- Nothing.
It just started raining trash
out of nowhere for no reason at all.

- Ah!
Okay, fine, fine - my bag broke
and I ditched the trash
instead of taking it all the way
to the dumpster.
But, in my defense
there were only five minutes left
in flying and I wanted to go flying.

How is that a defense?
You made a bad choice.

I made a bad choice?
We could have literally been flying
and all you wanted to do
was talk about morals.
I mean, you're like
the worst part of Superman.

This is a relief.
I can stop my deliberations.
You are a selfish person
and it is pointless to help you.
- You are on your own.

Oh, man.
- How about this trash storm, Gunnar?

- More cleaning up to do.

It's a... it's a dream come true.

- Whew.

- We're okay.
You can't die here.

Come on, I mean even you have
to admit - those guys are psycho.

 

#
I don't know
what's happening to me.
I mean, it's my duty to be calm
and in control and I'm falling apart.

No, Michael,
you are a paragon of fortitude.
You're a mountain of strength.

I'm not a mountain of strength.
I'm a canyon
full of poo-poo.

Jianyu, the architect of this neighborhood
has just referred to himself
as a canyon full of poo-poo.
Surely now
you will say something.
Grace us
with your vocalized wisdom.
Please, I'm begging you.

Oh...
Yes, yes I understand.
The strength is inside me.
It's been there all along.
No, of course.
I can overcome any obstacle.
Oh, thank you, Jianyu,
thank you.

- I'm back.

You did it!
Oh, you have so much to teach me.
Maybe I should try
to be silent, too.
No really... look, here I go.

Oh! That was wonderful.
So cleansing.

#
Just water tonight, huh?
- Designated driver?

- Yeah, it sucks.

I think it's awesome.
I mean, someone's got to do it, right?
I think it's a cool thing
to do for people.

Yeah, no, no, I meant...
I meant I... it sucks that I can't
do it more often.
You know,
I actually prefer it to drinking...
staying sober, knowing my friends
will get home safe -
that's my buzz.

#
Hey guys, good news and bad news -
see that hot bartender over there?
He's into me
and we're gonna bang it out.
The bad news is it means
I can't drive you guys home.
But, I did call a cab for you guys
but they recognised my number
and they didn't want to come.
I've thrown up in a lot of cabs.
So, are we good here?

Eleanor, you have
a very important choice to make -
if you blow us off, you are banned
from Thursday night drinks forever.

Yeah, I'm good with that.
I'll see you guys at work.
Peace!
You - let's go.

#
Hey, how did you know
I was here?

I saw you from my window.
That's where I live, by the way...
not that you ever asked.
What are you doing?

I went to all the places
where I dumped trash earlier
and cleaned it up
so it couldn't be traced back to me.

Well, it looks like
you cleaned up everything.
You're doing this
because you feel bad
and you're not even doing it
to get me to help you anymore
because I told you,
that's not gonna happen.

Okay, yeah, fine,
I felt bad for stupid Gunnar
and stupider Antonio
and the whole neighborhood.
I felt bad about what I did.
It was a weird feeling...
not used to it... didn't love it.

Well, feeling remorse
about being wrong isn't as good
as just doing something right,
but it's a start.
Look, I think you're capable of change
and I will help you try.

Oh, wow, man -
I swear I won't let you down.

Hi, there. I've collected
the worst smelling garbage that I could find.
Do you still want me
to dump it inside of Antonio's house?

What?
No, I did not tell you to do that.
You are loco girlfriend.
Okay, I won't let you down
starting now.

#
Ah, Eleanor, good morning.

Michael, do you know
what the best part about this place is -
you figured out
how to make a to-go cup
that doesn't leak
right where the seam meets the lid.

Oh, I'm so glad you noticed.
I was very proud of that.
One of the hardest problems
I had to solve.
Eleanor, I know what you did...

cleaning up the entire neighborhood
by yourself.
I knew you were special
but this is proof.
Enjoy your coffee...
and the cup.

 

#

Okay, let's begin your good person lessons.
You got a long way to go
to pull this off.
It will take hours and hours
of studying ethics
and moral philosophy.
We're going to have assignments
and quizzes and papers.
It's going to be so much fun.

Remind me
what I'm getting out of this again?

You get to avoid eternal damnation.

Oh, yeah, right.
Hey, I got you a present.

- What?

- Senegal.

That's not a present.
That's just common decency.

Yeah, but I forking nailed it.

Good talk.

#
Aw, shirt!